Support Jeremiah's Journey to Stability

Hello, my name is Jeremiah and I am asking for help.

I am a single father, public school employee, volunteer, union member, and high-functioning autistic (Asberger's). I am also very embarrassed to be here asking for assistance, but my circumstances have left me without choice.

In short (though a longer explanation is below), I am asking for help with monthly bills for the next few months until some new opportunities and solutions I have received come to fruition, as well as potential expenses such as legal costs relating to enforcing the terms of our divorce agreement with my now ex-wife.

I am working hard to change my situation, unfortunately, I am very afraid it is not enough.

Several years ago, my ex-wife and I made the decision to relocate our family from our home in Toledo, Ohio and move across the country so that she could take a new job opportunity and advance her career after receiving her Master's Degree in Accounting. I gave up my full-time career at that time so we could make the move, and became largely a stay-at-home parent, working only as a consultant or part-time and taking care of the kids while she worked and traveled extensively. She made several job changes, and we made several more moves, until the family eventually settled in San Diego, California in 2016.

We were in California for about two years when she filed for divorce in 2018. The divorce process took a long time, almost three years, and was finalized in 2021. I found myself in a tough situation, I had difficulty finding steady work for myself in a competitive job market, with a several year gap on my resume, without a college degree, and facing other challenges.

It was during marriage counseling and later therapy to come to terms with the divorce, that I was officially diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder "consistent with Asberger's." That diagnosis put a lot of things into perspective for me, and allowed me definitions and strategies to better managed challenges I faced. I have returned to school to complete a degree, I have been employed with a public school district for the last five years, and I spend a significant amount of my free time volunteering, including quite a lot of time with youth organizations such as the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts or after-school programs for children. Most recently, in March, I was elected vice-president of my local chapter of the California School Employees Association and have registered for training to become a union steward, positions with which I hope to assist other school employees receive fair compensation and treatment in the workplace, and by extension through their work, provide better schools for the children.

For the last five years I have worked managing the computer lab and technical issues for a public school campus. I joke that I "teach kindergartners how to type," but the reality of the work is far more. I have always loved working with children, even planned on studying early childhood education when I first applied to colleges after high school. I also have a interest in computers and programming, and an aptitude for it, and this job allows me to pursue both my passions simultaneously. Over the past few years, I have taken on increasing responsibility and the school district which employs me intends to give me even more responsibility, a new title, and a significant pay increase when we return to school this fall.

Unfortunately, that may too little, too late. Under my current pay rate, I don't make enough money to even pay the rent on a small apartment for myself and my youngest child, a 14 year old son (the other children having moved out on their own), much less pay other bills or buy groceries.

While we have shared equally in the legal and physical custody of the children, my income since the divorce has been supplemented by child support ordered by the courts to be paid by my ex-wife, who by a conservative estimate based on when we were married, makes about 6 times what I do. She has not made any child support payments in over the last year, and her payments prior were sporadic. As of this writing, she currently owes over 26 thousand dollars in back child support.

I pride myself on living frugally. I drive a 20-year-old car, live in a tiny apartment, and I don't make unnecessary expenses. I work hard for what little I have. Times are tough, and California is particularly expensive. In order to make ends meet without the child support, I've been forced to run up credit cards, drain retirement and savings accounts, and borrow money from family - including from my own children. I've reached the point where I am scraping change together to put gas in the car to go to work, and subsisting on groceries from food banks and the like. If my ex-wife had paid even half of the child support she was ordered by the court to pay and has not, I would have no debt, would still have savings, and would not be asking for help like this now.

While I have opened a child support enforcement case with the state of California and county of San Diego, governmental agency red tape makes the prospect of seeing any relief a ways off. Additionally, there are other obligations of our divorce agreement which have also been ignored, and I face the prospect of returning to court to get those things enforced as well, incurring expenses to do so.

I face the very real prospect that very soon, within perhaps days, I will not being able to afford even basic expenses, utilities will be shut off, or worst case of not being able to pay the rent and being evicted, with nowhere else to go and no means to get there anyway. I worry that I will not be able to provide a home for my son, or meet his needs, and I worry despite working hard, I'm just not good enough.

It is my hope and understanding that the upcoming changes to my job will allow me to survive, even thrive, without the need to rely on things like the child support or credit to make ends meet. However, until those changes are implemented when school resumes in the fall, I'm left short for the next few months. While I am pursuing every avenue I can find for extra work and opportunities in the meantime, I am coming up short, and this is why I ask for help.

I estimate that it will take about three thousand dollars above my expected income to pay all of the bills for the next three months, to keep the creditors at bay, and to place myself back on more or less solid ground.

While I am embarrassed to have to ask, I know that it is in the best interests of my family, my teenage son, and even myself, to reach out when things get too difficult. That's why I am asking for any help you might be able to provide, even if it's only a few dollars, or a suggestion as to other opportunities I might explore. I thank you for reading this far, and I wish you and yours the best as well.